Blog for Self Improvement

Self confidence is a mental and emotional state of mind that responds to an individual's need for self-acceptance and peer recognition. It is among the oldest and most studied concepts in psychology. It is used to describe a positive but nonetheless adequate perception of oneself and one's abilities. As such, people with self confidence usually have a better idea of the things they are able to do and are more apt to be successful in their projects. They are able to more readily admit and learn from their failures.

On the contrary, a lack of confidence might prevent you from believing what you do and decide will finally work out the way you had intended. It can hence hamper the improvement of decision-making aptitudes, planning and managerial abilities all of which are essential and mandatory skills in the business world of today. The pre-occupation with other people's opinions of your work may also cause you to become excessively self-critical, which will distract you from things you would have otherwise been fully capable of performing.

Low self confidence will also affect your social life, as people with low self confidence tend to stay in their "comfort zone" and are afraid of being rejected. This is called social phobia and is usually associated with low self confidence, as well as other mental afflictions such as depression. People with low self confidence are scared of being judged by their peers and will avoid talking to new people, which can subsequently lead to isolation and even lower self confidence. Low self confidence is a vicious circle that's difficult to break.

On the other hand, because they are able to trust their abilities, people with self confidence are able to do what they feel is appropriate and do not expect the approval of others. They also trigger confidence: your boss, employees, customers, friends or relatives will be more likely to believe in you or in the things you are telling them if you appear self-confident.

Different experiences can lead to low self confidence. New research indicates that parenting style has a major impact on the development of a child's self confidence. Corporal and psychological abuses during childhood are for instance the worse for a person's self confidence, as well as family conflicts or divorce. Overprotective parents may also be a reason for a child's social phobia and inhibit the independence that is necessary to develop self confidence. Failures and successes, for instance at school or in one's professional life, also play a significant role: losing a job or failing a class are some of the several experiences that will negatively affect your self confidence.

There are nonetheless ways to overcome those bad experiences and improve self confidence. The first thing to do in order to build self confidence would be to learn to know who you are and what your strengths are. Recognizing that you cannot be perfect and cannot be the best in everything you do will help you gain self confidence. Accepting who you are is the key to building self confidence. But improving self confidence also requires that you start taking risks and giving yourself credit for your achievements. This is very simple advice that will help you improve self confidence. You may also find plenty of books that will claim they can help you improve self confidence, however not all of them are reliable.

A lot people suffer from low self confidence or are only able to gain self confidence in one or a few areas of their lives because they constantly look for other people's approval and are afraid of failing. Many factors, including childhood traumas, can explain why certain people cannot have the wholesome life a self confident person could have. These persons also don't always know how to gain self confidence. However improving self confidence can now readily and effectively be achieved thanks to hypnosis and NLP.

As we have seen before low self confidence and social phobia can stem from traumas or unconscious fears that may be difficult to overcome through self persuasion only. Confidence hypnosis and NLP on the other hand are able to get to the unconscious part of our mind and modify belief systems to boost self confidence. They are effective tools that will help you address your fears and trust yourself to develop self confidence.

Confidence hypnosis has been used for several decades and has shown significant results in building self confidence. Once in a hypnotic state, accessing unconscious thoughts is a lot easier and, through hypnotic suggestion, you will be able to replace your negative thought patterns with positive ones to boost self-confidence.

By: Alan B. Densky, CH

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Alan B. Densky, CH is an NGH certified hypnotherapist. He offers effective hypnosis CD's for social phobias and self confidence. His self hypnosis for self confidence CD's were independently reviewed in the UK. Visit his Neuro-VISION self hypnosis site and watch free hypnosis videos.

People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.

In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

1. One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a belief in yourself.

2. There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don't realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a reflection of one's confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.

There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is.

Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don't worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

3. Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence.

But you can't simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people's respect.

Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim.

In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?

4. Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can't do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.

In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don't get it they end up losing their self-confidence.

What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person's beauty or looks. It flows from a person's self-belief, and this belief can be built.

All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self- confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.

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To discover how to overcome the #1 obstacle that will keep you from success and to get a fr'e mini-course that reveals how to change your limiting thinking and how to increase the level of your self-esteem to set yourself free, go to www.vision-to-action.com

Nobody can hurt you without your consent. There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life's hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that "nobody can hurt you without your consent."

The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It's purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce.

You were not chosen for your college's football team; you may have been laid off. There's definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don't necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following five ways would help you do just that.

1. Look at the brighter side. If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world.

Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude.

Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren't too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. When we have a problem we always question god - "oh, god, why me?" Certainly god gave you a lot of rewards as well.

Did you then get up and ask god -"oh god, why me?" That's what human nature is all about. We complain and remember god when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves.

Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering.

This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down.

3. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start.

4. And yeah…don't be bogged down when you hear a "no". A "no" is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each "no" actually takes you closer to a "yes." It's been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take an occasional no in stride.

5. Are you standing in your own way? You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today's world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements.

Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy- editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

Don't forget, there is always a way to regain your lost self-confidence. You just have to look for it. Because finding is reserved for those who search. Are you searching for an answer?

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Regain your lost confidence now by creating a vision for your life, boosting your self esteem and deciding that now is the time to change. Get our fr^ee mini-course “Discover the TOP 5 secrets of EVERY highly successful Person to Achieve What You Want" today at www.vision-to-action.com