Blog for Self Improvement

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.

The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.

Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.
On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.
So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.
So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com

About the Author:

Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. You are a unique, wonderful person! Find out why in the two free e-courses on www.theenthusiasm.com. Find your purpose and realize your goals. Be a success!

By Shelley Stile/Professional Life Coach

Transforming Your Relationship

It may to difficult to accept but the ingredients for a happy and fulfilling relationship with your significant other or spouse rests on the foundation of acceptance. Acceptance of the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Acceptance of who that person is at their core. Acceptance of all the little things they do.

1. Acceptance does not imply giving up. It is not a negative term. It is acknowledging reality. Acceptance means that we come to understand and accept our mate and our life for what it is. There is no judgment involved. It means that we accept things as they are, not as we think they should be.

2. Understand fully the difference between what is and what you think should be. You know, wishful thinking. An abusive spouse is what is; your belief that he or she is going to change any minute is what you think reality should look like. Big difference

3. Acceptance does not suggest that if your lover is abusive to you that you simply accept it and do nothing? No. You do accept it as a fact but then you are free to make a decision as to what you will do next. There are plenty of options but all of them are based on acceptance of what is. You can choose to take a different approach to the problem and see if that works. You can choose to leave the abusive situation. The choice is yours.

4. Here is the core truth behind acceptance. You have heard it before: "Oh Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can, the strength to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." What exactly do you have control over in life? Think hard about this one. You basically have control over one thing in your life: You. Period and end of discussion.

Look to your past and do a reality check. I know for myself that I spent about 40 years thinking that I could change my Father. I would somehow, through countless hours of discussions and arguments, show him the error of his ways and make him into the ideal Father that I wanted. Guess what? I am fifty-five years old and my Dad is still my Dad. The more I resisted who he was, the more he dug his heels in.

My Dad is at his core a wonderful, compassionate and giving person. He becomes that person when I exhibit those same qualities. Bingo! So it is my behavior towards my Father that empowers me to transform our relationship. I change my approach via the road of acceptance. Does it always work? No. Mostly? Yes. Which brings us to our next point...

5. We don't impress people by describing in words how we have transformed ourselves. We transform ourselves and the people around us by being what we believe in. We lead by example. If you are looking to stop anger in your house, don't get angry. Walk away from anger. Allow it to diffuse and then have a discussion about the effects of anger on the household. If you scream back in response to an angry person, you only add fuel to the fire.

6. Acceptance and transformational behavior are habits that we can master. Initially it will not be easy but that is always the case when we take on something truly meaningful. We need to unlearn old habits or ways of being and initiate new ones. Make a list of how you would want to be treated in very specific ways. For instance, "I want to be treated with respect". Then your new habit is to treat everyone around you with respect. It is through repetition that we master new ways of being. New habits, if practiced, can take hold in three months.

After three months, see what is appearing in your life. I believe that you will see amazing results. The least thing you will have accomplished is a new you. Chances are extremely good that your mate will have experienced your new way of being and will change too. They will change because they want to, not because you want them to. That is true and lasting change. A change that results in a transformed relationship.